The Mermaid and Legolas!
by Leelee5
Summary: Ariel is a half mermaid from Earth who goes to Middle Earth to be in an arranged marrage with a certain elf (READ TO FIND OUT WHICH ONE!!! tee hee!!) (since people aren't getting it, i'll ruin the suprise and tell you all this is a parody)
1. An ordinary half mermaid girl!

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS A PARODY. If you understand, and are willing to subject yourself to the horror of this story, you may continue. FF.net or the author cannot be held responsible for any vomiting, convulsions, or violent reactions that may occur. If you agree to these terms, please continue. Thank you. 

  
  
  
  


(A/N: Okay ya'll, I havn't read any of the books at all, but don't flame me! I just can't be bothered to take that much time and effort to read all those big words I don't understand. Oh yeah, I don't own any of these characters, but I wish I owned Leggy!! 3 3 !!!!)  
  


Chapter one: an ordinary girl  
  


Ariel was a normal high school girl. But her family had a secret- it turns out Ariel was actually half-mermaid! (A/N: Here's what she looks like: she has long long red hair and big blue eyes that sometimes look green. She's kind of short- LIKE ME!! LOL!! She wears really old fashioned, princessy type dresses, even though she's a modern day teenager. Oh yeah, and she's 16, but way mature and stuff!!!!)  
  


Nobody liked Ariel at school because they were jealose of her and her beauty. And Ariel could read minds and had a hamster that she could talk to. And a unicorn, but it was a secret unicorn. One day Ariel's parents dyed tragically- she was really sad (OMG- don't you feel bad for her????!!!!)  
  


So Ariel was in the woods, and she was singing a beautiful song, it was a sad beautiful song. Ariel also had the most beautiful voice! She was singing: "Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated.I see the way you act around everyone else makes me frustraited." (A/N: I loooove Averil Lavene! She is sooo cool!)  
  


While Ariel was singing her pet unicorn came up to her and gave her a locket. "Ariel, the unicorn said, (he could talk good English) "this is a magic pendant, it will take you to Middle earth and you will be happy there. But if you go you will have to be in an arranged marrage with an elf, because that's the price for going. And the elf has seen you, and he loves you already."  
  


Ariel was surprised, and felt scared, but she wanted to go anyhow, even if she had to marry an elf she didn't know. She thought that she'd just outsmart him anyway and then she wouldn't have to marry him. Ariel was very liberated and independent (GIRL POWER!!!), and she thought arranged marrages were barbaric!!  
  


(A/N: I know this story is wicked sad so far, but don't worry, Ariel will meet a certain elf soon and they will fall in love and get married, even though Elrind is against it and Liv Tyler, I forgot her character's name is jealose of her! I hate Liv Tyler's character! I want to marry Aragone!!! He is soooooo hot, but Leggy's hotter! Orlando Bloom 4-ever!!! Oh yeah, and they will go destroy the ring together, and she's going to stop the mean guy, boromir from dying. And she's going to help that little ugly green guy to who says "gollum" all the time- forgot his name too. Oh yeah, and Aragorn wants to marry her too, but she falls in love with Leggy, of course! Pleeaase R+R- or I won't write any more! LOL! BRB! Read the next chapter too, k? 

1. 


	2. THE BALL COOL!

Chapter 2: Ariel meets Leggy!! (ohh, lucky girl!! I wish it were meee!)  
  
So Ariel takes the magic locket and she pops into Middle Earth. She lands gracefully in Leggy's lap, and he's like all surprised and stuff. And Ariel jumps up and sez: "Don't touch me, I am not your wife yet!! ( She read his mind, that's how she knew it was Leggy she was supossed to marry).  
  
Leggy looked reel sad. "But you are soo soo pretty and graceful and kind. I would love to have you for a wife. We could have a big big wedding, and you could wear a beautiful wedding dress, like the dress in the Little Mermaid. And Elrind would marry us!!"  
  
That's when Elrind stood up. (Remember him, he's the kind of meenie who tells Liv Tyler she shouldn't marry Argon!!! How meaann! I'd CRY if he were my dad! LOL!) Elrind stands up and sez: "Okay, no I will not marry you two at all! She is not an elvish! She is half-mermaid, I can tell just by looking at her!! And she is more beautiful than my daughter, princess Amadalia (ok, I just can't remember Liv's character's name, could someone e-mail me and tell me, plleaze?? So I'll call her Amadalia for now.) I cannot have her stay here if she is so beautiful.  
  
That's when Ariel stood up. "I am not marring anybody! I am a liberated, independent woman who doesn't believe in marriage before finishing college and getting my singing contract and modeling career! I don't love you, prince Leggy!! So just GO AWAY!! (OMG- she is sooo mean to Leggy, I wouldn't be, I'd marry him in a SEC! But Ariel's really pretty, so she can get away with it.)  
  
So everybody was tired then, and that's when Elrind said, "Lets just get some rest. The fellowship has to set out in the morning, plus we have that grand ball later tonight where everybody has to dress up nice and dance with each other. Princess Amadalia, could you please help Ariel find a suitable dress and do her hair and makeup for the ball tonight?"  
  
Princess Amadalia said "Ok" even though she was reel reel jealose of Ariel's beauty and niceness. (I HATE HER SO MUCH, LOL!!) And she noticed that Leggy, Aragorn, and Boramire all were looking at Ariel and were like, really in love with her already. So Princess Amadalia was mad. Because she knew no one would dance with her if they were all in love with Ariel.  
  
Princess Amadalia and Elrind came up with an evil plot. "Daddy, I'm gonna make Ariel look ugly tonight for the ball, and that way no body will love her anymore."  
  
"Great idea, Amadalia! You do just that. I don't like that half-mermaid girl AT ALL! I am going to get ready for the ball with your mom, Queen Rosie. Her family from the Shire is coming to the ball tonight, so you will meet your hobbit grandparents!"  
  
"yay!" yelled Amadalia! "this will be the bestest night ever!!"  
  
  
  
(A/N: okay okay, I KNOW it's a cliffhanger! But don't worry, Amadalia won't reck everything for Ariel. Ariel is like, wicked smart and magical, so she won't be tricked by Amidalia. I'm not sure who she should dance with yet, Leggy or Aragorn, they are both so HOT!! But not Gimli, he's ugly and dwarfy! Ewwww!) 


	3. Elves fight over Ariel

(A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed!! Yay, know I know Liv Tyler's name: it's AWRIN!! Thankx, pps!)

  
  
  
  


Chapter 4: Ariel is sooo freaking perfect!

  
  
  


So then Arwin does Ariel's hair for the ball, and it looks reel bad and stuff, because that was Arwin's plan. Then Gandolf comes in and sees what Arwin is trying to pull, and he stops her.

  
  


"Arwin, just because you aren't the prettiest anymore, you don't have to be mean about it! Just cut it out, k?"

  
  


And Arwin leaves.

  
  
  


Ariel gets mad at Gandolf, "What did you do that for? I am a strong independant woman, and I can take care of myself!!! (A/N: see she is sooooo independant and mature!!) And then she redoes her own hair, and then she goes down to the river thats in the movie.

  
  


Ariel starts singing a reeally pretty song again, and her mermaid friend Slappy comes to see her. "Slappy, I kneed a nice gown for the ball tonight. I don't trust Elrind and Arwin at all!"

  
  


Slappy sez: "Sure my bestest friend, no problem. Here's a nice dress I made today. (A/N: btw, Slappy is a magical taylor, cool huh?)

  
  
  


So she puts on the ball gown and it has hearts and stars and other sparkling thingies all over it. She walks into the ball and everyone stares at her, because they've never ever seen anything soo freaking beautiful.

  
  
  


Elrind glares at her. "Leggy, you'd better not dance with her, because Arwin, my DAUGHTER and Queen Rosie HalfHobbit want to dance with you first."

  
  


Leggy gets really upset by this. So he punches Elrind in the face. "You're not my dad, so shut up!" Leggy yells. (See I really did read all your nice reviews! Leggy doesn't have to do what Elrind says because he's from that other elf place!)

  
  
  


Elrind cries.

  


Chapter 5 later, golly I am just sooo busy.

  
  


(AGAIN PLEASE PLEASE READ CHAPTER ONE THIS IS A PARODY. Please don't send me more reviews telling me to correct the poor spelling. I'm beginning to despair...)


	4. The one ring!

So anyways. Ariel walks up to Leggy and sez: "I talked it over with my hamster, and we have decided that it would be all right to marry you. But I won't stop my singing career, so there!"

  
  


Leggy cries: "Oh Ariel HalfMermaid, I would never want you to stop singing. Your songs bring joy to all! Please sing something for us now if you would."

  
  


So Ariel stands up and starts singing: "Life is a mystery, everyone must stand alone, I feel you call my name, and it feels like...home." (Madonna is kind of old, but she's still cool!!!! LOL!!)

  
  


So then the hobbits from the Shire walk in, you know elija woods, and the goonies kid, and all the rest. And eligha says to Leggy: "no way, you're going to marry that beautiful girl?"

  
  


Leggy boasts: "yuppers! Isn't she the best? But I don't have a wedding ring yet."

  
  


So Elijia solves the problem. "Leggy, I have a ring right here! I think it's magical too, and one of a kind! She'll love it!"

  
  


"Thanks soo much elighja! That's really really really nice of you to do that. I can't think of a better person to wear the one ring than Ariel!"

  
  


Leggy bent on one knee. "Ariel, please accept this ring as a token of my undying love for you. I love you so much." Then rose petals fell from the ceiling. Ariel smiled because she knew that she had caused the petals to fall with her magic. But no one else knew (A/N: Except you guys now, ha ha!).

  
  


Ariel accepted the ring, and everybody held their breath. Wasn't this supposed to be a bad ring, like really evil and stuff? But when Ariel held it, it became really pretty, with diamonds all over it. 

  


Over in Mordor, there was a scream. Sauran was dead! 

  
  


"Ariel, you've saved all Middle Earth! And now the elves can stay here since their rings won't lose their charge!" Elrind was so happy now. 

  


"I will marry you too, I changed my mind about you, Ariel", said Elrind. 

  


"And I'm sorry I was mean to you and tried to ruin your hair", said Arwin. 

  
  


Ariel just smiled at them. "It's okay, I understand. For now, lets have a party, and I know just the place!!"

  
  


Ariel started humming "Under the Sea" as she walked away.

  
  


The End (OR IS IT????) 

  
  


(A/N: I will totally write a sequal to this if everybody loves it! Plus, then I'd get to write a really hot love seen with Leggy and Ariel. And their wedding!! Oh yeah, and sauroman is still out there, so he might cause trouble. I won't write the sequal until I get at least 257 reviews stating how much everybody loves this story. LOL!!!)

  
  
  
  
  


Endnote: Thank you for reading "Legolas and the Mermaid". Again, the author cannot be held liable for any lost limbs, lost lunches, or lost tempers during the reading of this story. After reading, please sit still for 20 minutes and eat a cookie before attempting to walk. If a rash or shortness of breath occurs after viewing this story, please seek medical help immediately, or read the real Lord of the Rings. This will restore your faith in humanity. Thank you,

  


Thrill Me (the author)

  
  



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